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"Get in the Game"
Article by
Julianne Harvey
Staff Writer
Gear4Guys
04/01/10

Did men invent the idea of the doghouse, or did women?  I looked up the roots of the phrase on handy Wikipedia and wasn't able to locate how the term began.  On wisegeek.com I found a definition which says, "In the doghouse refers to currently being out of favour with someone of importance."  I would guess the concept was created by the female side of the spectrum, because men would likely not invent a place to be banished to.

Are any women out there ever sent to the doghouse?  I know in my house it's a location reserved for my husband.  Not because I don't ever do anything wrong (not as often as he does, that's for sure) but because he can't be bothered to expend the energy to punish me when we've had a fight.  When he gets mad at me, his anger comes quickly and then blows over.  He gets it off his chest and life moves on.  As a woman, I nurse my grievances like babies.  Perhaps that's why the doghouse exists - women are not ready to let go that quickly.  We feel that men need some time to reflect on their wrongdoing.  We always hope he'll come back to us, contrite and sheepish, and ask to be forgiven.

I'm almost 12 years into marriage and I'm slowly realizing that when my husband is in the doghouse, he's not dreaming up ways to make it up to me.  He's probably spending his alone time thinking about the new putter on the market, or what size skis he should be using, or if he has the courage to get the tattoo he's always wanted but his wife abhors the idea of.  Then, when I miss him and can't stand the silence between us any longer, I go to spring him from the doghouse and hope to hear his well-crafted apology.  Usually he just smiles, and tries not to speak of it again, and I can see somewhere in his eyes the putter, skis and tattoo he's been dreaming of.  Sigh.

I'm not convinced we'll ever get what we want from each other.  Men and women are simply two different breeds.  We will always have conflict and opposite ways of dealing with the same problem.  Men will blow and move on, women will nurse and punish.

This website is going to be helpful for relationships, because men want to keep the women in their lives happy and women want to stay happy.  We don't necessarily need gifts to stay happy, but gifts means that our man is thinking about us, and caring for us, and that's what the gift means to us.  It doesn't have to be a big ticket item (although those are okay too), but it has to take some effort from our men.

A website like this will give you lots of options for a small outlay of effort.  Pick something, and give it to us with that sheepish smile when you want to escape the doghouse or avoid going into it.  We'll know that you love us, and we'll be happy, for a little while at least.

BIO:  Julianne Harvey has almost 12 years of marriage experience.  She writes screenplays and blogs daily at www.thedreamtowrite.blogspot.com.

BACK TO THE DOGHOUSE


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